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I recently applied for extra provider hours through the Star Plus Waiver services program from Superior. I was interviewed and asked a list of questions. I became very emotional during the interview and broke down and cried. I felt overwhelmed and realized everything that I do for my mom from the list of questions I was asked.
I cook for mom and feed her every day. I change mom every day (maybe more than once if she has an accident). I help mom in and out of her bed every day (several times a day). I take out moms chair and push her in to eat - then help her out of her chair every day (several times a day). I often cut moms food for her. If mom watches t.v. - I turn the t.v. on for mom. I brush moms hair every day. I try my best to do things with mom when I'm not feeling tired, overwhelmed or depressed - it's hard. I stopped doing things for myself like exercise and eating healthy because I'm busy getting mom to exercise and eat healthy and then get too depressed to love myself. If my son catches me crying - I pretend I have something in my eye or tell him my allergies are bothering me. I don't want him to see me crying.
Sometimes mom doesn't want to eat - she fights me with it. Sometimes mom doesn't want to take her meds - she fights me with it. Sometimes mom doesn't want to shower, change or exercise - she fights me with it.
Without a provider I shower mom, with a provider I STILL SHOWER MOM. I take mom on walks, I take mom for coffee and once a month, I take mom to have lunch or dinner at a restaurant.
I read to mom. I schedule all of mom's medical appointments, I take mom to all of her medical appointments (monthly - she has 2, sometimes more). I drop off moms prescription and pick it up at the pharmacy. I give mom her meds. I read about mom's illness and I give her natural remedies such as tumeric, coconut oil, flax and chia seeds, fish oil and vitamin D...I go to the health store to buy them and I give them to her. If mom needs new undergarments or clothes - I go and buy them for her.
If mom has an episode - it's ME who sits with her and calms her down, if mom can't sleep...I can't sleep because she will not stop knocking on my door. If mom is scared, it's me who calms her.
These were some (not all) of the questions that the interviewee went over with me.
This is the life of a Caregiver
