Blog breaks. I need them. But I also need this blog. This is like an escape for me, I don't know...it's a place where I can be honest. I need breaks, period.
Sometimes I live in pain. Sometimes I live through pain.
I'm trying to care for myself and my mother, trying to keep myself glued together and still have time for my husband and son. Changes need to be done soon. I need to get well, and I'm tired. Please don't say think positive, or hang In there, or keep up the good work. I've done all those things, it's time for me to step away. I'm slowly detaching myself. Soon, I will give myself 5-day breaks once a month (hopefully) through moms hospice care, they have a respit program in which they will keep mom for 5 days while I take a break. I'll start there, but then I need to start living in the world of reality then begin looking into Nursing Homes. I can't do this alone anymore, I get no rest, and no help from family so is slowly killing myself (My doctor's words...not mine). I'm trapped in my own home, this is the main problem I think...feeling I can't just leave my own home when I'd like to, or even have to. My family deserves more from me. I deserve more from me.
I love you so much mom.
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