Life goes on

It's been a while since I've had an update. I temporarily closed my main fb account because I needed a break from all of the fake happiness posts, and drama that people enjoy getting into although they say otherwise, lol...so annoying, not to mention all the cry baby crap and complaining...I can't believe people get so bent out of shape over a stupid broken phone, or lost keys...it's laughable, and I feel sorry for people like that, they seem soulless to me.  Anyway, my Life with Mom fb page is still open and I try to update as much as I can without coming across as being depressed, or bitter.

Yes, everything I post is through my perspective and through my personal experience spent with my mom as her primary caregiver, my husband is her secondary caregiver and NO we DON'T get paid for this, are you fucking kidding me?! I can't believe how ignorant some people are, caregivers don't get paid...so ridiculous.
So yes, some of my posts might seem as if I'm depressed because I don't sugar coat situations, I do however hold back on ALOT of what I go through as a wife and mother, and even as a daughter, it's sad, but real...very real, and I try to share as much as I humanly can without putting all of me out there on a platform but you see, I have to learn from this situation, this is a life experience and if I don't learn from it, or educate others in the process, I feel uninspired and as if I'm letting mom down, and when I'm uninspired, I just might break.
I don't know, it's hard to explain. I do the best that I can with what and who I have. My hubby is my best support, he's quite amazing.  His support has been a true testament to our 20 years of marriage. No one knows what we go through as parents, and as a married couple, or as a family; it takes a toll. It hurts deep when you have no one to turn to, or count on for any type of support, so when I mention my husband, I mention him with the utmost respect because it's MY mom, yet he helps and sacrifices so so so so so so much and more and he is the one I turn to, and depend on..

I just need to say that if you've never taken care of a sick elderly parent who can do anything for themselves, and who depend on you for food, water, showers, sitting, standing, eating, changing, grooming, lavatory assistance,  and more including nursing them when sick and taking them to doctor's appointments all 7 days a week and you still have room in your heart to judge that person who does all of those things, I feel very sorry for you.   I don't know how people can be so silly and ignorant, I don't know how highly judgmental people even function in our world, I mean...worry about yourself, judgmental people are weak, insecure people and I want nothing to do with them, (and neither should you); I need all the positivity I can get, because I am surrounded by my mom's sickness and inabilities 24/7 - it dulls me on the inside and hardens me, it doesn't make me soft, or weak, it turns me tougher...but there's a piece of me that won't ever give in to the toughness, a small piece that wears so thin, and that's afraid and that often feels lost and alone, but those are my emotions, no one will ever get me on that level...This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. No more to say, until next time.  Life goes on, I guess.