Interesting that some people that I know have the huge misconception that I get paid for taking care of my mom. No, I have never received a penny from any agency. When I first made the decision to leave my job I thought about being a paid provider for my mom, but at that time was told I couldn't be. Fortunately it worked out in my favor because I ended up qualifying for paid caregiver relief to give myself a break, so I chose an agency and they helped hire a provider for my mother who comes Mon-Fri 4 hours a day. (Those are our qualifying hours). The provider is actually there to relieve ME of my usual activities with mom during the time she is there, so this gives me time for myself, but not time with my family because my husband is working and my son is working and in school during those hours, so family time or date nights are rare, but that's ok because were doing a good thing being there for mom.
The paid provider cooks for mom, makes sure she eats and takes her meds, changes mom, showers mom (I shower mom when the provider doesn't show up and on weekends). The provider also does stretches with her, and does her laundry and helps with some housework. That's what a paid provider does...me, well I'm a caregiver and my time with mom is 24/7. This morning mom woke up at 6 am because she wet the bed so I had to clean her sheets, mattresses and clean/change her. The other night, mom woke up at 2am and was hungry so I gave her a snack. Last week there was a night where mom didn't even sleep so I laid on the sofa making sure she didn't get hurt.
Having caregiving assistance is great help, but no amount of help will ever replace the life I used to have with my husband and son before mom got sick 4 years ago.
I don't know what to think sometimes. I'm blessed and happy to be spending time with my mom, but I'm also tired and fight depression almost on a monthly basis. Unfortunetly I sometimes turn to food, then gain weight...then I start eating healthy and exercise. I often skip meals because I don't like preparing or cooking food for just me, and by the time I get mom's lunch ready, and sit her down to eat, I've lost my appetitie.
Some friends have reached out to me and that has helped me take my mind off of things, I also watch movies, listen to music and read books. I should probably do some more walking. I used to take a lot more walks with mom, but she has arthritis in her feet and walks very slow so it's easier to take short walks 1-2 times a week.
I try to keep as busy as possible and recently took up couponing..I've been saving ALOT of money plus keeping myself busy.
I'm lucky to have what I have, and lucky to be where I am and give thanks everyday.
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