One day I remember getting mom dressed and making her breakfast. I told mom to hurry up and eat so we can go to Target. One thing you need to know about living with a Dementia patient is that there is no hurrying up. Everything is a process. Dressing mom, feeding mom, getting her to brush her teeth, turning on the water for her shower, cutting her food, fixing her hair. Everything you'd do for a baby, be prepared to do for a Dementia patient. Different stages require different care, but just know that there is no such thing as "hurry up". The more I rush mom, the more confused she gets, even to the point of forgetting where she's at. I know that if I plan on going somewhere and taking mom with me, I better give myself 2 hours to prepare her. I want her to feel as safe and comfortable as possible when we leave the house, so preparing her and talking to her about what we will be doing is something I've learned to do before heading out otherwise, it will be an even more difficult task answering her questions of confusion, wonderment and sometimes fear.
Like I did when my son was a child, I do for mom. I pack mom a bag with a snack, a drink, and bring her medication just in case. I always make sure mom has tissue or a napkin, she likes to hold on to something like a child sometimes holds a blanket or stuffed animal. She needs security.
Patience is a big thing for caregivers, I can't express this enough; I'm faced with daily dilemmas and circumstances where breathing exercises and understanding are much needed; caring for mom has blessed me with patience...it's the most difficult task to master. I applaud those who utilize patience in their jobs and lives day to day. It's not god-given...it's a choice when made needs to be practiced and may never meet perfection.
I get ya! your words could be mine. I so get it!
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